Ancestor - Sister Marie Dueman's 4-great grandfather

HENRIC ESAIASSON’s GENEALOGY
4 great-grandfather of Sister Marie Dueman
Typhoid and Death Customs

Typhoid knows no boundaries—it hits across many waters! That water-borne disease, typhoid, had drowned and snuffed out the life of Henric Esaiasson Flybacka’s sweetheart. Heavy-hearted, Henric buried his beloved wife, and mother of their children, on Tuesday, 6 Jan 1852, in Leväsjoki, probably beside their little daughter Caisa Vilhelmina, who had died just a little less than ten years prior to this date.

Sisu! Henric had to gather together all of his Finnish sisu to survive life’s sadness. There is a saying, associated with Finns: “…even through a stone wall!” It certainly fits in with the meaning of ‘sisu!’ Here Henric felt heavy with his responsibility of supporting and raising his four children, all by himself!

Funeral customs. In her book, OF SWEDISH WAYS, Lilly Lorenzen wrote about Scandinavian funeral customs. There, funerals were carried out, with deep respect, dignity, and care. Henric probably sent out black-edged funeral invitations to relatives and friends, within about one week of his wife’s death.
To the funeral, men usually wore a white tie and full dress suit. Women were black-frocked, with hats and a heavy veil covering their faces. Sometimes, a pointed double collar, of crisp white, was worn with the black funeral dress. After his wife’s funeral, Henric could have worn a dark suit with black ribbon worn across his lapel, or a wide black band worn around his left sleeve.
Margareta’s deceased body might have been kept at home, until the day of her funeral. There were no undertakers, then! White sheets might have been hung on the house windows. The home’s pathway, which led to the road, might have been strewn with finely-cut spruce twigs.
Henric might have openly shown his deep grief, his heartache. He might have walked, with immediate relatives, up to the edge of the open grave, where his sweetheart Margareta might have been lying in her closed black wooden casket, maybe made of the plenteous birch wood.
Margareta’s death might have especially been heart-wrenching, for her four children, left behind: twelve years’ old Anna Greta Henricsdotter; seven years’ old Catharina; five years’ old Henrik; and the almost-two years’ old Maja Stina.
During this cold December, they might not have dropped small clusters of flowers onto her casket, for most likely the earth would be frozen, solid, with no flowers growing. Evergreen wreaths might have been placed, later to be placed atop the grave mound. Henric and his children probably expressed words of love and affection for Margareta, or maybe they were too numbed, with sadness, and/or cold, to express anything, at all. Not only had Henric lost his wife, but his young children had lost their beloved mother, as well.
Maybe Pastor Johan Granqvist dedicated Margareta’s grave. And, the mourners were not comforted, when the traditional hymn, I GET NEARER DEATH WHEREVER I GO. When Margareta’s coffin was lowered into the earth, the heavy sounds, of three scoops of earth falling, with heavy thuds on the coffin lid, finalized Margareta’s departure from them. Those who die go on, to a much better world; but death is a very difficult time, for the family, and it was especially for this little family, of five. At this time, Henric and Margareta had not been sealed in any Eternal marriage, but only ‘until death do us part.’ This cold finality must have stung Henric’s heart!

After the funeral. Keeping busy, seems the best remedy, for melts death’s sharp edges, just a very little. After Margareta’s funeral, came the funeral feast, where food and ale, and stronger drinks were served. Ever so slowly, there emerged a more light-hearted mood, after several rounds of that ale! There was usually feasting, into the next day, or longer. Guests brought food for the table, like the potluck dinners, which my family has often shared and enjoyed together.
Although it does not seem possible, after losing loved ones, life did go on, for Henric. Blessings balance out the sadness, in life. Luckily, for him, his twelve years old oldest daughter, Anna Greta Henricsdotter, was now old enough, to tend her younger siblings, who were Catharina, Henrik; and Maja Stina. Not only was Anna Greta their older sister, but she was also now thrust into the role of early motherhood, for her younger sisters and brother. She not only had to do that, but also run the farm, as well! How many twelve year olds could do that, nowadays?!
Henric’s little family all carefully tended Margareta’s grave, with potted plants or fresh flowers, maybe with fresh flowers in a vase, during Spring and Summertime, trying to keep Margareta’s memory alive.